No Longer

We all grow and the best time to realize that we are growing is when we have come to recall the best memories. Likewise, our childhood  made us reminisce the days where we have spent it joyfully with our peers, friends and even siblings- brother or sister. There is no more naive thing  than realizing that once in our lives we became children in our young world. When was the time you have realized that you're no longer compounded with your childhood? when have you realized that life is no longer a play?  When have you realized that your peers, your friends, your brother and your sister is no longer... a kid?
I have spent my entire childhood days together with my sister. I was seven and she was six then. Every time we indulge ourselves into a restless play, my mother always directs me to take heed of my little sister probably because, I am the eldest. Young as we are, we have been prompted by our parents that for whatever one has, she must share it to the other. I couls still remember how I have asked my mother  why is that so. she would then replied that its because "we are sisters" . Her answer never satisfied my intrusiveness and that even leads me to hate the fact that from the toys we used to play, from the food we used to eat, from the dress we used to wear my little sister and I practically shared the same thing. Then I turned ten and she was nine. Still, I am given the responsibility to look after her in school. Every recess, my sister would imediately went on and look for me in my classroom and there both of us will take our snacks. I could still think back how she have cried out loud from that point that she could not hardly answer her science and math assignments. She would then asked my help to solve all of those. From school, as most children rushed  to have their way home, I would never forget how I have told  her this line " Come with me, we're on our way , you might get lost"( ari diri, manguli nata, mawala nya ka!) She would then be of my side and she would answered back " I won't get lost" (di' lage komawala!). These were the familiar words and deeds that became our routine. Until I reached the aged fourteen and her, thirteen. Ridiculous as it may be, but we still enjoy playing like we still let ourselves indulged in a heavy rain while we go on running to and fro. I never wanted to end our childhood days. I still want to look at my sister as young as she could be. Like the sunrise and sunset, I quite knew that I've already turned eighteen and she was seventeen. Time became so swift for us in same manner she became out of control. With all the decisions she have made, I am there to oppose her. She have drawn ideas and principles that were so different from what I have believed to be totally upright and good for her. She quit schooling and she became the pain in the neck for my parents. I thought it would be the worst thing she could have done towards us not until she turned nineteen years old. She is now nineteen years old and she have made the worst thing that I could never imagined. My sister is pregnant. I was entirely taken aback from the moment I learned about what happened to her. I never even uttered a single word. Tears rolled down in my cheeks and I felt like I was plunged in a deep body of water.  Where have my sister arrived?
My mind has been eaten by my alter ego. I wanted to hate and disowned her. That was then the time that I have realized that my sister is no longer a kid. Yes! she's no longer a kid. Her life will no longer be a series of restless play. She have let her hands off of my grip. She's lost already for she have rushed the time of her life. I am out of hint If I could still lead her home because probably she have built a home of her own away from us. How long will I take heed of her? How much pain will my parents embraced because of her? Will she be able to gain solutions to the problems that she might encounter? She could not run; she could not run like the way we did during the pouring rains. 
I wanted to hate her but I just hated the fact that in my subconscious mind a voice of a mother would  say " She is still your sister". I don't want to see her but every time I fall asleep I am waken up myself realizing that she's still part of my dreams. I hate her for I cannot hate her that much. It was not because she is my sister, nor she is my parents daughter, even not that both of us shared the same blood relation but because despite how she have caused our hearts to be in deep hurtful feeling I still end up loving her. 
If I could only wish that we never have grown; if I could only wish she never aged up. However, the reality keeps slapping me that just in front of my very eyes, my sister's no longer a kid  and we're no longer in our childhood. ;(